Needless to say, I am a failure in the modern world. I used to worry about that a lot. I faked my way through college on a basketball scholarship in the late 60's and early 70's. I tried to be normal but I just didn't have a talent for it. The local newspaper called me the "Hippie Hawk" because of my wierd ways and long hair. The coaching staff hated my guts but my outside shot kept me in the rotation. It was a strange time in America. It was okay to be weird. I didn't really figure out I was a square peg until a couple of years after the school somewhat humorously awarded me my BA. Jessie and I got married and had our first child. Having a kid does something to you. I decided it was time to grow up.
In my twenties I tried hard to make up for my antisocial tendencies. In my early thirties I even faked the rules well enough to achieve some degree of "success". I'm from Texas and a natural born liar so even when my heart's not in it, I can bullshit with the best of them.
Still, I could only hold my breath so long. Things started unraveling in the second half of the eighties. My business fell apart. My self esteem went in the dumper. I felt disenfranchised, out-of-step with society and purposeless. A man without a corporation.
I attributed the failure at the time to problems with the economy, problems with my management skills, problems with business partners. Now I know what really happened...it was recess deficiency syndrome.